Cardiff & Rovers Groundshare Announced
April 1, 2006
Cardiff City and Bristol Rovers today announced the most innovative ground share in football.
Using oil rig technology, a giant pontoon is to be constructed that will ferry a new 30,000 capacity stadium across the Bristol Channel between Portbury and Cardiff Bay.
The stadium will be moored against two new jetties constructed at Portbury Docks which will allow fans access to the stadium. The Rovers club offices, ticket outlets and Supporters Club shops will relocate to the dockside so tickets and souvenirs can be purchased before entering the stadium. Likewise two jetties will be constructed in Cardiff Bay so City fans can access their new stadium in the same way.
Six tugs will be employed to tow the stadium between Portbury and Cardiff Bay across the Bristol Channel. Commented Supporters Club Chairman John Malyckjy, “Our only challenge is kick off times, as we cannot dock at either location when the tide is out. This will mean some inconvenience for our fans but the tide timetable will become regular reading for Gasheads everywhere.”
Fortunately the FA want to be seen as encouraging this innovative solution to modern day stadia and have indicated they will be flexible over kick off times.
Share Scheme Chairman David Brain signed up to the news, adding “The unique nature of this development allows us to introduce an Offshore Hedged Share Scheme option registered in the Seychelles, which will appeal to who we call the more astute affluent financially aware Rovers fan, but who you might call a tax dodger”.
There are also several commercial spin offs both the Supporters Club and the football club are looking to exploit with this news. Firstly, as a registered vessel, all goods sold in the club shop whilst it is out of port will be duty free. As a result we are announcing new lines of luxury souvenirs including vintage champagnes and a specially commissioned Perfume, Eau de Gas .
Secondly Chairman Geoff Dunford will officially be the captain of the stadium vessel, a position that entitles him to conduct marriage ceremonies at half time at matches.
Finally, we are also planning to offer a service for your departed Gashead loved ones to be buried at sea when the great referee in the sky blows their final whistle, a fitting end for any Pirate.